Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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