she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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