Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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