You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
