Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Dignity is for republicans.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
