Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize