I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Randomize
