What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
