i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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