I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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