I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
