not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
