just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
