:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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