I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
