How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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