its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
