My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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