i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
