Already got asked if we're dating
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
