I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize