did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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