I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
