Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
