last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
