her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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