Yo dont text me then not text me
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
