I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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