i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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