I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
