My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
