Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize