just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
We need to get me chipped asap
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