im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
