apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
