youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
