theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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