What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize