my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
This is not my ceiling
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
