I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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