But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
