AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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