he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Randomize