I'm drive I can fine osifer
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
