You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
