Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
