I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
