is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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