I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
