Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
