yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
