I think i sorta joined a cult last night
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Randomize