She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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