I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He felt like a one man threesome
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
