turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
