Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
