my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
