I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
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