We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
