I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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