I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Come on in and take your pants off
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