Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
