i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
