oh god the rape fog is back!
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
