I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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