Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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