Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
That accounts for only three of the penises
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
