So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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