I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
