we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Dicks are not precious.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
