He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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