please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize
