Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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