I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
