my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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