FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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