I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Randomize
