There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
