yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
