And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
