btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize