I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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